


18

by walking_paradox



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frat Boy Louis, M/M, Male Slash, Niam (sideline), Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slash, Student Harry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1935681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walking_paradox/pseuds/walking_paradox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>20: He never touches a bottle, he hates looking at them.<br/>19: He whispers faults and anger to himself at night. Alone.<br/>19: He's desperate for refuge in the stone city.<br/>18: Him and his father exchange fists for the first and definitely not the last time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	18

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction strictly for entertainment purposes. The characters in these stories bear no likeness to the members of One Direction, their friends, and their family apart from physical appearance. If anyone relates to the issues addressed in this story and/or feels triggered by the content, please talk to someone whom you feel comfortable with, preferably a professional. 
> 
> Inspired by the poem 21 by Patrick Rouche: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LnMhy8kDiQ
> 
> P.S. Sorry for any grammar/syntax errors.

**"BEEEEEEEEEEP"** The alarm on Harry's phone goes off. He sighs as he realizes that yet another sleepless night has passed. _Of course,_  Harry thinks to himself. Groaning, he sits up and turns the alarm off, the light casting through the window blinding him momentarily.

It's bad enough that he couldn't sleep this past week because of the parties that fucking fraternity house keeps throwing, but the _one_ night they don't throw one is the one night where Harry's thoughts are plagued with flashbacks. His spine shivers.  _Don't think. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't think,_ he squeezes his eyes shut until the panic in his system disappears, and even then, his breathing rate is still pretty fast.  _  
_

Opening his eyes, he reaches for his inhaler on his nightstand, taking a couple puffs and calming down before he gets ready for his 8:30 class. This morning, a hot shower is taken instead of his usual lukewarm one. Harry steps out, his dark curls dripping wet, and dries himself, trying not to look down at his damaged hips, refusing to let it become one of those days as he brushes his teeth.

He succeeds and exits the bathroom, searching for clothes to change into. His pink lips smirk, secretly thankful for the few perks of having no room mate.  _It's not like I have much of a choice though,_ he thinks.

Once Harry is properly clothed in a white T-shirt and black skinny jeans, he grabs his books from the paper covered desk and leaves his dorm, making sure the door is locked. Crisp autumn wind greets his face and, suddenly, he wishes he wore his jacket. Shrugging it off, he makes his journey to the sociology building on the other side of campus, but not without walking passed the Beta Delta Xi fraternity house, the one that throws those loud and obnoxious parties. Harry spots a few of them and scowls as they stagger back into the house, probably returning from a different party, drinking their brains out until they puke. His scowl deepens as he sees one stumble on the steps, leaning over the railing and doing exactly what Harry expected him to do. The setting changes, and a tall man is leaning over a banister, bottle in hand, as his stomach removes its contents. Green eyes watch from the sideline, disgust and fear stay solid in his gut.

"Hey Harry," a warm friendly voice says, interrupting Harry's train of thoughts. He turns around and sees Liam standing there, his brown eyes looking over to the puking man a few yards away. He frowns as he realizes what's going on and changes the subject, "How are you today?"

"Pretty good, I guess," Harry replies, grateful for Liam's quick thinking. He didn't know how long he'd stand there watching the drunkards as he recalls unwanted memories.

"You guess?" Liam asks, suspicion in his tone. He always had a talent for reading people, and since he's been friends with Harry for over 3 years, it's easy for him to tell when Harry's telling bullshit.

Knowing it's futile, Harry sighs and tells the truth, "I had a rough night last night. I couldn't sleep, but I'm fine now."

"Are you sure?" Liam asks with unconvinced eyes. Harry's always been close with Liam, close enough that Harry confided in him his darkest secrets, so Harry understands why he's a little pushy.

 "Yes, Liam," Harry responds, ignoring the irritation growing in his gut, "I'm fine. Thank you, though, for asking."

He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but he stops himself. When he opens his mouth again, he does speak, "You're welcome. Just... please talk to me if you have another bad night. Or if you have an episode again. Please?"

Guilt leaves a lump in Harry's throat, "Of course, Li. I've done it before, right?" he chuckles, attenpting to lighten the mood.

It works; Liam smiles back, "Yeah. Sorry, I just wanted to make sure everything's alright."

"No problem, I understand," Harry tells him, checking his watch. 8:25, "Shoot! I gotta get to class! I'll talk to ya later, Liam."

"Alright. See ya, Harry!" he exclaims.

And with that, Harry runs off, his tall legs carrying him to the lecture hall in long strides. He makes it there with 30 seconds to spare and takes a seat in the front row of desks. The professor walks in and begins the lesson of the day, never pausing once for her students to catch up on notes. Harry doesn't have this issue though. He writes down everything in fast, messy handwriting that only he can read and becomes entranced in what his professor has to say. Education is very important to Harry. If it wasn't for the fact that he had almost straight A's since Grade 2, he wouldn't have earned a full-ride scholarship to Uni; wouldn't have escaped his old life. He would have been wandering from one friend's house to another's for God knows how long.

**SLAM!** The sound of the door to the lecture hall brings Harry back to reality. He turns around and sees one of the fraternity boys from earlier shuffle to one of the seats in the back, obviously hungover from the night before. His dark brown hair sticks out in strange places, his eyes are covered by aviators, and even Harry can smell traces of beer coming from the small figure. Harry's nose scrunches, and he faces the professor again, who stares at the boy with irriatation. Shaking her head, she continues on with the lesson, not bothering to waste session time scolding the young man. 

Another hour and a half passes before she dismisses the class. "Louis," the professor adds, "Can you stay after for a moment?"

The boy groans and Harry smirks. That's what he gets for drinking all night long. The tall boy grabs his stuff from his desk and turns to leave, but then his body slams hard into a smaller one. 

He doesn't even have to glance down to know that it's the messy boy, Louis. His nostrils are overwhelmed with the smell of vodka and the room starts spinning to him.  _No. Don't think._

Harry finally looks down at the figure and is surprised by how short he really is, almost a foot, and Harry can't help but feel even more like a giant compared to him. The sight puts a knot in Harry's gut. "S-sorry," he stutters, confused by how nervous he feels.

Louis stares at him for a moment, saying nothing, and walks on, as if Harry isn't there.

Harry stands there and blinks. Well that was a bit rude. But then again, he _is_ a part one of the many fraternities at this school, so he was probably born with the manners of an ape. Wait, scratch that, an ape probably has better manners than him.

Shaking his head, he pushes that thought aside and leaves the lecture hall, ready to go meet Liam at their usual lunch spot.

* * *

 "Louis," Professor Roth sighs, once again looking completely exhausted by Louis' behavior, "My class is for learning, for growth and empowerment. To understand how the world works from the inside out. When you come in here in this condition, it prevents you from learning. So explain to me how you plan on receiving an education in this class when all you do is sleep."

Louis rolls his eyes, mentally at least. This is just a waste of his time to him. All he really wants right now is some tea and a nap to get rid of the pounding headache that's about to make his head burst. He makes a mental note to punch Zayn later for talking him into going to that sorority party last night.

The professor's navy blue nails tap against her desk. One by one, each nail blasts a loud  **THUD** into Louis' ears, causing his head to throb even more.

"Well?" she asks, growing more impatient by the second, "I'm waiting."

He takes a deep breath, wishing he had an aspirin right now, "I don't know what to say," he answers honestly, "You're right. I have been slacking off and I should improve myself."

She raises her eyebrows, "Is that all?"

"Uh..." he starts. What else is he supposed to say? Normally giving professors that small speech does the trick, but then again, Professor Roth is different. She knows the students well and knows when she hears a lie.

She sighs again, but this time it's out of disappointment instead of irritation, "Louis, I don't want to be the bad guy here. I really do care about your grades and your future, but if you don't bring your grades up, you'll be banned from all activities and clubs, which include fraternities. And eventually, you'll lose your scholarship and have to pay for your education yourself. And I don't think either of us wants that to happen."

Blue eyes widen as he takes in the information. _Banned from Beta Delta Xi?_ Louis can barely imagine it. He can't be kicked out of there, it's the only place where he can relax and enjoy himself. But how can he learn all of the material they've already covered in class? That's impossible. His heart sinks as he realizes that there's a chance he might not finish the school year.

Panicking, runs his hands through his hair, " _Please_ tell me there's something I can do. Anything at all? Extra credit? Wash your car? Walk your dog? Anything?"

She thinks, each second she takes makes Louis want to pull out his teeth. "How about this," she finally answers, "I'll assign a tutor to you for a couple weeks and then have you write an essay on everything you have learned in the sessions. Does that sound good?" 

Louis' lungs exhale all the tension in his chest.  _A tutor, I can handle that_ _,_ he thinks. He can't screw it up now, not if he wants to stay where he belongs: with his fraternity. He seriously hopes this will work, but he can't help but feel sorry for the person who has to deal with the loudest member of the loudest fraternity on campus. 


End file.
